I have been incarcerated for I lyrs 5months and 2days. All of which IWe been relegated to •restrictive housing due to being confirmed stg. In my decade of seg living I've attempted suicide once and contemplated it many more than that. I've witnessed 3 different people being willed out of their cells on gurneys from committing suicide. was only spared by God's grace and now I'm proud to say renounced my affiliation and am (God willing) 6 rnonths away from my probationary year coming to an end and my journey to reassimilate back into population Ma grad. will begin. Many or us come in prison as addicts .amongst many other things. and due to this stigma Of us back here having to be •tough" or "strong" we keep our mental battles .with being in seg ourselves. A constant "silent war" rages with each one of us. And due to the fact or coming into seg addicts we seek an escape. a fleeting reprieve in which we find in self-medication. only this ephemeral reprieve is so short lived. only exacerbating the underlying issues, we deal with that normally 2 ways is how this trajectory will take you, depression and possibly death or the losing of one's wits. Surprisingly the latter is the most devastating thing you can witness. in real•time witnessing the atrophy Of a human's wits?That sticks with you. indelibly etched in to the mind. I've seen the progress with the administration. slowly but surely steps are being taken to combat the conditions in seg and promise you we are grateful. I beg you as one who has lived back here a decade . I beg you as one Who has attempted suicide because I felt sc hopeless back here. I beg you as a human being to please consider allowing drug-abuse programs for us back here. If we could be equipped with tools to learn using insidious drugs as a "reprieve" is deleterious and detrimental and to be taught a more conducive way to cope with our issues? hyperbole aside. you could save lives. If you could implement •system wide' self- harm programs as was implemented on the Robertson unit in a self-harm officer delegated population inmates each. with a list Of seg inmates to which the population inmates would go around checking on each designated seg inmate's door asking-how are you doing today?" •are you 0K?" "Do you want to talk about anything- "can I help you with anything". This is incredibly powerful for the seg inmate for numerous reasons. names' it makes you •feel' that someone cares about you can't stress enough how powerful that alone is for one who lives in solitary. If a seg inmate has slipped up (eg relapsed with self-medication. or has dark thoughts again creeping back etc.) and he/she is in the midst of their •silent war" or in the midst of facing a tsunami wave of shame they can then speak to someone and get that weight off their chest. From personal experience when you slip up or you're battling depression you don't want to disclose this to your family or loved ones (if one is fortunate to have a support system in world) for you have heard your family tell you how proud they are Of you "I'm so proud youue changed" and due you serving your family disappointment for sa lone you hesitate to admit you've slipped up. and with disclosing depression or battling such you hesitate for all you've Ne ever done is made your family worry ergo you hold all to yourself, silently warring against yourself. Having men come around checking on us allows an avenue in which (after rapports developed and trust built) we can disclose our issues without fear of judgment or contempt. not some innocent angel nor am I attempting to advocate such. But small things can be implemented in which could have huge results, people equipped with tools to combat the urge to self-medicate or tools equipping us on how to battle depression. Lives saved, my goal upon graduating grad is to become a self-harm worker come back in seg to let all relegated back here know. people do care about them. Thank you for your time
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